Tuesday, April 12, 2011

God's Mysterious Ways

Tomorrow will be a week since we re-entered the realm of unemployment.  Lest anyone get the wrong idea from that last post, this is where I confess how I'm doing.


I don't wake up in the morning feeling hopeful or joyful.  I have to actively put on hope and joy.  And not just once.  But in a minute-by-minute sort of way.  I wake up remembering that most of the jobs that are rapidly "rebounding" are retail, that we can't live long term on that, and wondering what in the world we are going to do if we don't get work in the next 2-3 months.  Faith isn't easy.


In America, most of us are completely unfamiliar with the fear that we might not have a place to live.  We have friends and family who won't let that happen, but without them, it would have been reality in the past and would very possibly be a future reality.  In this country family-wage work is available for the taking if you have a good education and work ethic, right?  Or, at least, most of us still seem to believe that.  We worry about whether or not we'll be able to buy a house, not whether we'll have a roof over our heads.  We fret about not having enough bedrooms, or a yard as large as we'd like.  Not whether we'll be without shelter.  We're spoiled.  Myself included.  Letting go of those things, especially as a woman, is hard.  I want a home to make, and right now I have re-orient and be thankful for a warm, comfortable place to sleep, if not a home we can call our own for any length of time.


Each day I struggle.  And about every 36-48 hours I have a "crying" day.  On those days I have to be reminded that God is faithful.  And He is.  Always.


We sang "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" in church on Sunday.  And once again, I began to cry--on this verse.  One that I am currently trying to remember several times a day.



Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Because, in all honesty, I'm fearful.  Very, very fearful.  And yet, God's mercy is abundant, and I do believe, despite my bad days, that those clouds I so much dread will break forth in blessings.

3 comments:

  1. I thought of you while we sang that song.

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  2. I thought of you guys too. It's amazing how hard it can be at times to put on the shield of faith to fend off fears. But I agree that it's so important to choose to praise the Lord no matter what because children are always watching. :)

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  3. I just now read below that Ryan was let go, and Oh Amber!! My heart breaks for your dear family! You are so right, God always provides and will indeed shower you with blessings. The fact that you have such a wonderful family and friends who will help to support and comfort you is one of the greatest blessings. We are indeed spoiled when we see our worries are about having particular kinds or styles of clothing and wanting more space in our homes...and you have worried about having anywhere to live at all.
    Matthew 11:28 starts: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”\
    With love and prayers for you all, the Nieuwsmas

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