Faith is an easy thing to have when you don't need it. I know that we actually need to have faith in all things and at all times, but there are also times that require it in much larger quantities than do other seasons of life.
We're in one of those large dose seasons. Unemployment is becoming exhausting. Discouraging. Depressing. All things that, as Christians whose true hope is in Christ, it would seem we shouldn't be feeling. Except maybe the exhaustion part.
I am reminded constantly these days that we don't and truly can't know the mind of God. From my earthly perspective it seems wrong and terribly unfair that those who may be less qualified, poorer students, and generally less responsible are getting jobs when my husband, who has over 80 applications out, has not landed one yet. Or that every one of those other guys we know is an extrovert and that our introversion seems to be a strong disadvantage.
Some extroverts will basically tell us to "get over" being an introvert. That would be akin to our telling them to think things through before talking. Or to let someone else do the talking among other things. Although I understand that some extroverts think they already do. Regardless, it is an extroverts job market right now, and we have known a couple of more honest extroverts who have willingly admitted as much. Some companies even require you to go to a social as part of the interview process, which is a very, very painful experience for an introvert--even when we put on our game faces and try to be more outgoing. I would love it if the extroverts and employers of the world could really understand that an introvert can do just as well, if not even better, at getting the job done. Maybe not as a used car salesman. But as an accountant, it's a sure thing. It's a bit like the guys who can't see past the flirty girls to the true gems that aren't laying on the surface.
That was a bit of a digression. So sorry.
Ryan has had an interview a week for the past several weeks. We've heard "no" from a couple of those, and have yet to hear from a couple of others. So there is reason to hope. However, I find myself wanting more and more to have someone just hold me and tell it will be alright. I know that it will. And my husband does tell me that we'll be alright. Often. But when there isn't a means to provide a home for your children in the immediate future, nor has there been for one for sometime, one begins to falter. Or at least I do. I pray daily for the faith required to continue in hope, knowing that our Father in Heaven will not leave us.
In the meantime, we are so thankful to the friends who are letting us stay in their home while they are overseas and for a church body that truly does care for us. The blessings are here, they are very present in our lives. This is simply one of those times in which I need to actively look for them and then make sure that I take them to heart. God is good. And our job right now is to continue to persevere, knowing that He won't let us slip out of the palm of His hands.
3 months ago